There are times in everyone’s life when one is tempted to allow oneself to become overloaded with frustrations. There are many people who don’t cling to positive values, but instead embrace negative paradigms such as racism, narcissism, hate, and greed and I’m not just talking about our president. In 2017 I wrote a WildernessPunk article which reviews this situation entitled 1 in 3 which outlines how reasonable people can expect their logic and goodwill to be thwarted by, on average, every third person they encounter. ( http://bit.ly/2PQolKq ) But this article is not focused on others. Together we’re going to look inward and review how sane people attempt to progress within an insane world.
First off, if you believe everything you experience is normal and reasonable, you are dead wrong. Our current lifestyle is the result of billions of random occurrences which have floated together to create our current understanding of reality so we should be careful before we choose to get on some big high horse fighting to prove what we think is right. Just a simple example to set the stage: Cars. We all think of them as A+ normal even though we have only enjoyed being able to work more than two miles from where we live, get ambulance drives, and allow the elderly to have a chance to meet their needs independently for about .000025% of our existence. I’m not trying to go off on a tangent, I only seek to remind people the things we take for granted are here only through random chaos and our current normal will be almost unimaginable by your children’s grandchildren. I bring this up to point out most arguments we engage in couldn’t have happened a hundred years ago and probably won’t be applicable a hundred years from now, so it probably isn’t too important, and despite what people try to tell you, their opinion will most likely be proved wrong.
Back to the idea of self-control. I think we’ve all gotten so frustrated we feel like we might lose our cool and let anger take over the discourse. Most of us have lost this control, some more than others. While a smaller percentage let their own anger and self-righteousness rule their lives. Only they are right and everyone else is wrong.
The above is obvious, let’s look deeper. What about all those times you have felt the anger, perhaps quite justified, rise up, but you still kept yourself under control and behaved civilly. You might have verbally gutted someone like a fish or let your actions do so, but you did it all without a snarl or raising your voice. Where does this ability come from and why do we, or at least some of us, possess it?
Looking back to more basic times we could see the advantage of a hunter and gatherer becoming quick to anger. It would protect them and theirs. Still, if you are part of a tribe which needed to be strong to insure everyone remained fed and another tribe doesn’t steal your daughters, becoming quick to anger with your own tribal members could have dire consequences.
We could theorize having self-control is an advanced social and evolutionary trait. It helps humans live side by side and keeps things from being an explosion of violent chaos on every street corner. In the USA violent crime has lessened in direct relationship to our improving technology and more people receiving a higher education. There could be a correlation to this or maybe there’s simply less human interaction because a greater percentage of people just malinger at home allowing Netflix and video games to steal their health and lives one sedentary evening at a time.
On a personal level, I do feel more advanced when I let logic, dignity, and facts fight my battles instead of violence, screaming, and curses. I view people who jump to anger and violence as more primitive. They don’t have the intelligence to rise above the base animal state of fight, flight, or freeze. In other words, they use the reptile part of their brain to solve conflicts. Yeah, let’s not be like them.
Others could argue that turning our backs on our aggression is what allows us to become sheep for the state, but this does appear to be true currently for the under educated rural workers who are easily brainwashed into being foot soldiers by the ultra-rich, while the cities tend to focus on more equitable goals and strive to live in greater fairness and harmony.
Could it be higher population centers foster the need for greater control? If you lived in New York City and had to fight everyone who pissed you off, you’d never make it to work. While in smaller ponds, people are more likely to share more values, so an outside idea will be looked at with hostility and they would try to wipe it off the map before it could contaminate their homogeneity.
Some of these questions might remain unanswered and are up to you to decide for yourself. In the real world we have choices to make. Are you going to risk a huge fine or maybe jail time yelling at some Police Officer and cursing about how unfair the system is? Or will you suck it up for ten minutes and have the best possible long term outcome? Who really wins—the cop who thinks he’s dominated you with his power or you who proved smart enough to manipulate him and the outcome? This is the old Loki/Thor debate.
Having self-control is obviously the better end game because it gives you options. Hell, you can always choose to throw a punch if you like. Sometimes it is also appropriate to meet violence with violence when we have no choice. Letting some meat head kick your ass isn’t helping your day get better. However being the one starting with anger usually means you’re the loser who is in the wrong and can’t come up with anything reasonable to say.
Yes anger is energy and a tool we all possess, but we need to control it and not let it control us. A modern individual should have more options than fight, flight, or freeze and as we move into a more crowded world we need to continue to evolve our ability to use self-control or soon we might not have a world to call our own.
Thanks for Listening
You can check out my own grim vision of a future where we lose control here!
WildernessPunk 